maybe i'm afraid that people would think i'm boring, or worse yet, that i would think that i'm boring.
but wouldn't the best kind of happiness and self-esteem come from knowing that you are genuine?
my struggle isn't about trying to restrain myself when i want to do something out of the ordinary, it's about constantly trying to become less ordinary. maybe a lot of other people do this, too.
i just read that you should try to remember the things that you liked to do when you were a child, because it's likely that you still enjoy those types of things. i've been trying to remember the things that i liked:
- drawing maps of imaginary places, especially parks
- reading books that aren't especially thought provoking (just entertaining)
- organizing my books
- rearranging my room
- watching public television, especially educational programs
- dreaming about decorating (pulling pictures from catalogs and drawing floor-plans
- bike-riding with a friend
- playing computer games, especially sim-city
- building cities with my playmobil and legos
- planning family vacations, day by day
one thing that just popped into my head that ive been sheepishly wanting to do lately is make a diorama. now i can see why- half of the things on my kid-list are about planning imaginary places! i'm totally going to make a diorama for the museum. nothing can stop me now!
oddly enough, my great fear of being quirk-less and generic doesn't seem like its going to be a problem, after all. the only thing i'm worried about now is toning it down a bit!
haha. i'm glad i wrote this all down! i'm building a diorama this weekend- live local bands can go to...